I was just as saddened as the next person to hear about Estelle Getty's passing last week. I celebrated her life by calling my grandmother up and telling her how much I love her using the Blue Iris soundboard.
These ladies went a different route and held their own private "Golden Girls" memorial luau. Hey, we all grieve in different ways.
When Estelle's in heaven, I'm sure this guy is providing the party music, and later giving her the pounding she always wanted:
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Estelle Getty, R.I.P.
Awkward Situations
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Limo Parties
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Ladies' Man
This guy has clearly by taking lessons from Mystery. He brings the women to their knees under his sexual goatee spell.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Meet My Two Dads
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Long Lost Coors Lite Twin
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
After the Party, It's the Hotel Lobby...
Fag Tagged
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Technology Advice
I'm no Joshua Topolsky, but even I know this isn't a good way to handle your laptop.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Your Uncle Sam Wants YOU to Party
His favorite beer is Milkwaukee's Best. Check out his 12 pack stashed in the stairwell... I guess we all have a lot more in common with him than you thought, eh?
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Party Hints: How to Meet People
Sometimes, you'll find yourself in an awkward moment at a party where you don't really have any one to talk to. When this happens, I recommend you give a little impromptu demonstration of how you perform oral sex. It will make people instantly like you, and it also solves the problem of what to do with your hands.
Rize Beer
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
New Friends Dancing Together
Strip Poker Party
The combination of a collapsible camping chairs indoors, red plastic cups, and cans of Keystone beer means the evening could go a limited number of ways. The most likely way would be a bunch of frat guys getting drunk. The less likely option would be a girl getting completely naked by herself. I'm not sure what magic fairy dust made it go this way.
Full n00dz are in the photostream if you care to look, perv.
Monday, July 14, 2008
I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night (and then pass out)
This blog is getting dangerously close to being renamed "Sorry I Passed Out at Your Party" (see previous examples). But when someone just sent me this picture of his friend passed out in full Kiss makeup, I couldn't resist.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
More Old Men with Guitars
Play me more of that sweet soft music on your guitar, my sensual troubadour!
Disclaimer: This photo isn't from Flickr; it's from FuzzySquid, a program that shows you the 50 most recently uploaded pics to LiveJournal. Thanks to Cullen for showing me this.
Puff Puff (I'll Pass)
The giant puff of smoke emitting from this guy reminds me of a video clip of Rastas smoking weed that Brendan wrote about recently. As he described the clip, "I think there might actually be more smoke coming from the pipe than smoke coming from a rocket ship launching."
This guy doesn't live up to epic natty dread mushroom clouds, but I'm curious why his shirt is so wet.
Party Hints: Guitar Hero pt. 2
Middle aged white guys with acoustic guitars are welcome at every party. Anywhere. No questions asked.
Disregard everything I said before about how busting out the guitar ruins a party.
Just kidding.
Friday, July 11, 2008
This Is Me
Problems
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Pukestream
Monday, July 7, 2008
For One Day, Can't We All Just Get Along?
If you're a huge skinhead, a cool way to celebrate the 4th of July is to wrestling a much smaller guy in a tie-dye shirt. It represents the idealistic struggles while writing the Declaration of Independence between Thomas Jefferson and John Adams in the hit movie 1776.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
How to Party Like an American
I don't want to harsh on the USA so soon after the 4th of July, but this is exactly what people mean when they talk about how the lower drinking age and wine culture in Europe means they have a much more mature attitude about drinking. The French might give their kids wine at dinner, but they don't binge drink. Us Americans, we package wine in a box by the liter, and then still can't get it fast enough, so we have to squeeze it straight out of the bag into our mouths.
This photo is of our nation's brightest law students at a party.
(Thanks for the photo, Richard
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Living the Dream
Honestly, of all the party pictures I've ever posted, this is the one that I really really wish I hadn't missed this party. What you are looking at is pretty much the most ideal moment that a human could ever strive for.
1. Keg
2. Pool
Those are the only two things you need to transcend your mortal coil. There's just something about being drunk in a pool on the 4th of July that makes your heart want to burst with happiness. I was lucky enough to spend two 4ths in a pool with my friends Sara, Morgan, and Neal, and it was heaven.
Nice to Meet You
It's important to have your friends at a party warn you when you're about to meet a guy they know is sketchy. Look at the girl with the necklace try to give a signal to her friend. I wish she would be around me all the time like a guardian angel, just flashing the "sheeeeeeeeesh" face whenever I do something really retarded.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Happy 4th Of July!
What can I say? I love the 4th of July! I love BBQs, I love drinking beer in the afternoon, I love stickin' it to the English, I love freedom.
The 4th of July is the opposite of other holidays like Christmas or Halloween where there's a lot expected of you. You're expected to buy presents, or you're expected to have a snazzy costume. The 4th of July only asks that you show up and get totally relaxed. It's an big eating holiday, but unlike Thanksgiving, the most complicated cooking involved is placing a burger onto the grill and then taking it off the grill.
So to put you in the USA loving mood, please consider these 4th of July parties from years past that you missed:
Thursday, July 3, 2008
It's Never Too Early to Talk to Your Kids About Kegstands
Parents are a bunch of pussies who put their kids in baby yoga and make them wear kneepads when they go rollerblading. It's nice to see that there's still some people out there who still subscribe to the old parenting techniques like making them smoke an entire carton of cigarettes if they get caught smoking. Trying to sneak a sip of gramp's beer? NOW YOU'RE GOING TO FINISH THE WHOLE THING!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
This Is What My Hangovers Look Like
Lewis Carroll dreamed up Alice In Wonderland when he had migraine headaches. When I get one after a long night of drinking alone in my special "weeping closet", this photo is the only image that blazes into my brain. Over and over and over.
P.S. does anyone know the significance of the colors in boot laces? Like if it's red, you're a Nazi skinhead, and white if you're a non-Nazi (something like that)... Does having one black and one white laced boot have anything to do with the fact that it appears this man has fake tits?