Brony Cookiepuss

A giant cookie cake decorated with Pinkie Pie from "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic".  Goddang these brony fuckers.

Gross Food

Last night I made "grasshopper pie", my favorite Christmas treat since childhood that my mother makes.   As I was making it, I realized how totally 70s this recipe is - it calls for margarine, liquor, packaged cookies, and Fluff*

Old timey food is gross and weird.  It's all like weird meat gellatins and stuff. 

*Grasshopper pie is a delightful mint/oreo flavored no-bake pie. The green color is festive for Christmas, and it's great to tell little kids it's made with real grasshoppers (I believed that).


Photo from SavingDessert.com  I make it with way more oreo crumbs on top because that's the best part.


Here's my mom's recipe:

Crust:
35 crushed Oreos
1/4 cup melted margarine
Melt the margarine in a pan (or microwave).  Add the crushed Oreos and press into the bottom of the pan and up the sides, saving some to put on the top.

Filling:
1-7 ounce jar of Marshmallow Fluff
2 cups of heavy cream
1/4 cup green Creme de Menthe (if you get the clear version of the liquor, add green food coloring to the filling)
1/8 cup of Creme de Cacao

Whip cream.  Fold into Fluff.  Gradually add creme de menthe and creme de cacao.

Add remaining crumbs to the top.

Cover tightly and freeze.  Can be kept frozen for 1 month.  You can double the recipe and make it in a springform pan for a giant deep slice.

Pudding Face

I think the most disturbing thing about this photo is that the guy who sent it to me just wrote "I think she wanted it" in the body of his email.

Shiver

Steampunk Wedding Cake

The only thing that could make this more hilarious would be if it was vegan cake.

Cake!

Party Princess

Ain't No Thing But A Chicken Wing

This may be my favorite photo I've ever posted here.  A little backstory might be needed.  I highly recommend you scan through this woman's photos, although I warn you: extremely NSFW and extremely disturbing.  She and her husband are into s&m and sometimes have this extra woman who is their "slave" who hangs out with them and apparently sometimes goes on vacation with them.  The sex stuff is boring but the social dynamic here is fascinating to me.  Do they go out to restaurants together? Do they hang out and watch Netflix when they're not having sex?

The other nice part is that the Flickr stream of extremely graphic sex photos is interspersed with photos of the grandkids and family gatherings (extra slave woman sometimes included).

But this photo is really what does it for me.  A guy feeding a woman a chicken wing in a slave outfit?  KILL ME WITH PERFECT, WHY DON'T YOU??

Cake Cake Cake

Remember that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine is complaining about how she's always having to eat cake for someone's birthday in her office? Lolz! Seinfeld is just like real life!

I mean, hey - this guy was 180lbs when he started working here.

Toxic Waste Pizza Party

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Post-Thanksgiving Feelings

Librarian Cake for Two

A Riddle

Q:  What's red, jiggly, and tastes like cold, lonely bleakness?


A: Doing jello shots in your Mickey Mouse pj's.

I Got Your Dishes Right Here

Pumpkin Milkshakes

I hate the fall.  HATE IT.  Hate "sweater weather". Hate getting my old sweaters out of the drawer and realizing that I never dry cleaned them at the end of spring and they smell like a thousand Indian restaurants.  Hate the days you don't know if it's cold or hot when you leave the house so you over or under dress and are either stuck wearing a jacket on a 75 degree day or a bare legs on a 35 degree night. 

But the one thing that I like about fall is the abundance of pumpkin flavored food and beverage items.  I love the pumpkin latte from Starbucks and the pumpkin donuts at Dunkin Donuts.  This weekend I even had a milkshake made with pumpkin ice cream in this adorable mom-and-pop ice cream parlor with the whole old-timey soda fountain, and it was fantastic.

Wait, why was I just thinking about pumpkin milkshakes?

Happy Labor Day!

Great Idea!

Quick, someone get me the ad exec in charge of Andy Capp's Hot Fries on the phone. I came up with a brilliant tagline for a new commercial:

So good, you'll roofie the shit out of your girlfriend so you can have them all to yourself!

Biker Food Fight

Groundhog Day Desserts

Groundhog Day is a really excellent holiday to get really into.  Today, send someone you love a Groundhog's Day card.  Or maybe call up an old friend you haven't talked to in a long time and say that you just wanted to wish them a happy G.D.  Mention that whatever you're wearing is a specially planned Groundhog Day colors outfit (no one can argue with that).  Mutter at the water cooler that you can't believe your office is open on this sacred day. 

I know what you're thinking - holidays are only real if there's special food that goes along with them. Well, check out these Groundhog desserts and treats, and then tell me it's not a bonafide holiday! Basically the chocolate cupcake is to Groundhog Day what turkey is to Thanksgiving:

Why I Hate My Mom's Birthday

Thanks, Sybil.

A Pretty Shitty Boob Cake

Pretty hilarious that Photobucket deleted this pic for inappropriate content.