Barefoot in the Frat House

The thing I find most horrifying about this is that they apparently have a no-shoes policy.  Look at the pile of shoes by the door.  The white socks.  The one guy holding the bong appears to actually be wearing slippers instead of moccassins.

I absolutely loathe having to take my shoes off inside because I'm afraid of stepping on something sharp.  When I was a kid I read a book about the San Fransisco earthquake of 1906, and it said that because the earthquake happened in the early morning while people were still in bed, everyone ran out into the street barefoot and ended up with massive injuries from all the broken glass cutting their feet.  This HORRIFIED me beyond belief.  Way more than the tragedy of people losing their homes or dying.

One of the most terrifying cinematic moments for me is in Die Hard when Hans Gruber tells his henchman to "shoot the glass" so that John McClane has to walk across the broken glass barefoot.  At that point, I basically just want John to give up and let the terrorists win.  I've had it. 

Bro Pile

You've heard of a beeramid, but this is specific frat refinement: a bro-amid.  A pyramid of bros.
BTW, why you can always tell Boston guys even without their Red Sox hats?  I can tell so immediately if someone is from Boston.  I guess maybe LA is like that?  I don't think you can spot other cities so easily.  Maybe I'm just biased because I'm so familiar with the Boston Bro.

Beer Pong Surprise

I was just looking through my gmail Drafts folder and saw a message from months ago with the subject: "balls", and only a link to this photo in the body of the email. No idea who I was planning on sending this to, but I'm glad I rediscovered it.

Browsing the CD Book

A serious music fan selects the perfect party playlist.

Sexy Ladies

These are from some sort of lingerie themed party at a bar catering to Texas A&M students.

What a lovely reminder that human sexuality is completely repulsive and moronic at all times, unconditionally, end of story.

Lmao if you actually engage in genital-on-genital contact for recreation, you herb.

Broga Party

Fo shizzle! Me and J-deep are about to kick this toga party like it's 1,000 B.C.! There's some fine honeys here from Delta Tau and we've got the NOW That's What I Call Music! collection volumes 19-27 all ready to jam out on all the Black Eye Pea hits, so get ready for Tooooooooooooooga, be-atches! That's what's UP!

Porch Party

This is the best part of any house party: when you show up and run into your friends who are smoking outside, chitchat on the steps for a while before going in, or hang out in the back porch.  Maybe it's the first month back at school and you haven't seen your friends in a while yet.

This photo makes me really sad and wistful inside. 

Your Girlfriend

The Saddest Frat Party

Loneliest frat brother hangs by the snack table, dipping his chip into Tostitos brand salsa. No girls from the sister sorority will show up.  No kegs will be stood upon, no togas donned, no pledges hazed.   The saddest frat party.

Down the Pink Hatch

The Most Beautiful Hairs, Pt. 2

Hello, Boys!

Take Your Pick, Ladies

You get to pick one to take home tonight.  Choose wisely.

Left to Right:
Black Shirt, curly hair: he will make love to you gently and sweetly, but his genitals will smell HORRIBLE.
Striped hoody: his childhood molestation makes intimacy incredibly difficult for him; he will cry after cumming.
Shaved head: will give you a bumbling back-handed compliment like, "it's ok, I actually like small boobs."
Black hat: he will refuse to wear a condom.

Keystone Kops

Sleepy Sipping

Sometimes I find a photo I love so much, and then to my delight, its owner has already provided such an amazing description, that I can only let it speak for itself:

this was from cmu and it was kelseys roomates 22nd birthday. this from there spare "beer-pong" room. its a pretty sweet set up. i was soo intoxicated and i was trying to take a very cool picture of gracie but it didn't really turn out the way i wanted. i didn't know that until the next day tho. it was a fun night. i love going to see kelsey cause its like getting the whole college experience thing cause you defiantly don't get that at a community college. the memories from this night are sooo funny, i swear i have the best best friends in the world. =] =] =]

My only gripe here is that he says he was trying to take a cool picture of his friend, but it really didn't turn out that way. I don't want to sound like a perv, but this picture is so incredibly sexy that it's a crime that he doesn't understand. Something about the way you know this picture was taken on a really hot night where you are still sweating, and you don't even care that your shorts are completely riding up and showing more thigh than you'd ever do on purpose; being on whatever number of drink it is that makes you just want to find out what the inside of someone else's mouth tastes like.

Four Loko Is Cool

I wrote about how cool Four Loko is with a bunch of pics of cool shitheads gulping it down here:
Four Loko Is Really Cool And I Can Prove It - The Faster Times

Party Bus

My idea of a chill-ass party is hanging out in the Port Authority and maybe cruisin' on some Greyhound Buses. I always meet the hottest grown-and-sexy-only crowd. 

Leaning Tower of Kegs

Cat Party

Someone just sent me this photo with the description, "picture from my roommate's cat party."

Look, if you're roommate is throwing a party, it's kind of your party, too, right? Don't try to distance yourself from the Cat Party. It's a pretty great theme for a party.

The gender of the person who sent me the photo wasn't clear, and I'm having a hard time guessing if this is a male or female apartment. The bare walls, TV on the floor with cords hanging everywhere, tan couch the same color as the carpet, and indistrustrial window blinds scream "MAN HOUSE". But throwing a party where everyone dresses up as a cat? That's a lady idea.

I just like the guest of honor chilling on the back of the sofa. Ain't gonna be woken from his dreamy little cat nap by these screaming girls.

My New Boyfriend

Mom, Dad, I want you to meet Tyler. We're in love.