Barefoot in the Frat House

The thing I find most horrifying about this is that they apparently have a no-shoes policy.  Look at the pile of shoes by the door.  The white socks.  The one guy holding the bong appears to actually be wearing slippers instead of moccassins.

I absolutely loathe having to take my shoes off inside because I'm afraid of stepping on something sharp.  When I was a kid I read a book about the San Fransisco earthquake of 1906, and it said that because the earthquake happened in the early morning while people were still in bed, everyone ran out into the street barefoot and ended up with massive injuries from all the broken glass cutting their feet.  This HORRIFIED me beyond belief.  Way more than the tragedy of people losing their homes or dying.

One of the most terrifying cinematic moments for me is in Die Hard when Hans Gruber tells his henchman to "shoot the glass" so that John McClane has to walk across the broken glass barefoot.  At that point, I basically just want John to give up and let the terrorists win.  I've had it. 

Clean Cut Cuddle Party

I was looking for cuddle party photos in hopes of seeing some real unsavory degenerates, but instead I found these goddamn eagle scouts.  These turd nuggets are so wholesome with their white teeth and great skin and genuine smiles.

I'm pissed as heck and I am only consoling myself with the hopes that these guys have terrible shoulder bacne.

Humiliating Head Gear

I was completely delighted by this old photo and the funny hats they're wearing at a New Year's Eve party.

I starting thinking about the downfall of the noble Party Hat happened with those stupid 200X glasses. Although in this photo, the real humiliation is how poorly it was color-corrected and "denoised".

Pigs in a Baja Blankey

Love to see police and a guy in a drug rug hanging out in peace.

Lending a Helping Hand

It's a Shame About Evan

Evan Dando has a Twitter account that's strange and rambling, and yes, it's really him.

He's not shy about posting pics of his post-show partying at all [note the white lines on the coffee table]. Holy fuck.

Badass Krew

SIMYP Travel Guide: Guide Books

Is there anything worse than someone who considers "travel" among their interests? 

In my travels, I've gained an appreciation for those Lonely Planet or whathaveyou guidebooks.  Yes, I know, I know, they're cheesy and hideous.  And of course I'd prefer not to use one at all.  Everyone wants to not use the guidebook and be carefree.  You don't want to be that tourist with your nose in a guidebook like chump.  Of course not.  But what you really want is for your traveling companion to be the one who totes the book and does that all for you.  Somehow I've ended up traveling with people who disdain the guidebook even more than me, which means that I'm the one stuck carrying it.  And you know what? They come in handy, ok? 

Here's the absolute worst part about those books:  after your trip is done, you're stuck with this ugly book on your shelf.  Taunting you even more because it tells everyone who comes over exactly where you been and that you required a guidebook for it.  Mortifying.  I've tried as best as possible to shove these books off on friends who've mentioned a whiff of interest of traveling to those places.  You don't want people coming over and the first thing they see is that giant white text on the thick blue spin.  "Oh, you went to Spain?!"   

Anyway, point is, we now know DJ Denim over here has been to Thailand.

Burning Man? More Like.... Burning Stupid-Man

One time I was at a roof party at one of those large buildings in Williamsburg where the residents share the roof.  This was quite a few years ago when a different type of losers and shitheads still lived on the Williamsburg waterfront (as opposed to the current losers and shitheads).  Some other tennants in the building also had some friends on the roof.  They were unsavory hippy types, and one of them started doing this assinine thing with spinning flaming things.  I don't know what the proper name for this activity is, and I don't want to ever know.  It's what's going on in this photo, you know what it is.

My friend Keren started yelling "GO BACK TO BURNING MAN, HIPPIES!" at them, which was the funniest thing to me at the time.  Hippies HATE it when you don't like their stupid fire-dancing displays.  They seemed so hurt and dismayed to be in a hostile environment.  Sorry nerds, Keren does not appreciate you.

Wwwwwwwwwwipeout

A Classier Time

The aftermath of a party at my pal Julia's parents' place in the 70s (these are not her parents pictured).  God, I wish it was the '70s.  Everytime I go over to a nice dinner party and suggest a little swinging, everyone acts all huffy and stuckup.  Like a little wife-swapping ever hurt anyone?

Jeez, it's 2012 people. If you're not a diaper-lover or wife-swapper, get over yourself.  A little '70s partying might do you good.

Geezer

If it's not immediately clear how British this guy is, I don't know how to explain British people to you.

Dong Sleeper

Meanwhile at the Luau

Juggalettes Against Drinking and Driving

I know what you're thinking.  "Gee, Katie, this isn't too interesting.  Some girl drinking a bottle of barcadi out of a plastic take-out cup while in the driver's seat? Snoozefest."

Well would it impress you more if I showed you how this was tagged on Flickr?

Yeah, I thought so.