Friday, September 12, 2008

Jaeger Meister

Polio once had a party and drank a whole bottle of Jaegermeister and barfed all over his roof (sorry Polio). At this same party, I was waiting in line for the bathroom and noticed a used condom lying just outside the bathroom door. I pointed this out to the guy behind me in line. He picked it up, smiled at me, and then slingshotted it like a rubber band across the room, splattering partygoers with semen. I found out that guy died by falling off a roof at a party a few months later.

When you think about how much pain and death and suffering there is in this world, don't you just wish you had a bikini-clad woman to pour enough booze down your gullet to blot all the horror away for even just a little while?


hard liquor; soft holes said...

HAHAHAHAHA. that was the same party where someone told me (after i grabbed a 2nd bottle): "maybe you should take a break," and i responded, "maybe YOU should take a break...FROM TELLING ME WHAT TO DO."

and for the record, i did not vomit "all over my roof." i vomited like a gentleman: into a bucket.

Anonymous said...

"Splattering partygoers with semen" has to be the goddamned funniest thing I've read all freakin' day!