I've been on grand jury duty all week, which is really cramping my usual style of sitting on the internet searching for fan fiction and wondering what ytmnd.com would look like if it wasn't blocked on my office net filter. But mostly I miss celebrity gossip sites, even for just the 9-5 hours it's hard to be without them.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
I suppose I should fully confess: I have an addiction to celebrity gossip that's beyond just the normal interest in pop culture. A while ago, I decided to give up celebrity gossip for a while month - no checking TMZ, no buying US Weekly. I deleted all the RSS feeds from my iGoogle homepage. For 30 days, I was clear-headed, I was more productive than ever. But after day 30, I greedily indulged in backpages and backpages of it. I was back on the junk.
I don't like talking about it to friends or family. I prefer to do it in secret. I use when I get anxious or upset; my immediate reaction to stress is to scan Perez Hilton headlines - like a junkie, even I relish the set up almost as much as the high - seeing the color of the pink background, the nervousness that my boss might catch me goofing off, waiting for images to load. My pulse quickens, then I feel the release - I can completely tune out every aspect of my own life and concentrate solely on the misery of others. Isn't numbing your own pain why people love drugs?
So imagine my delight when I saw the pic from this June SIMYP post as the "Caption This" contest of dlisted.com. In the past week, three different people sent me this picture as a submission, which made me realize that the photo had been uploaded to some other sites. Which is pretty awesome, since really I believe everyone should really see this picture. Seriously. People should be forced to look at it before they're allowed to register to vote. It should be in place of a Rorschacht test. Parents should have an awkward conversation to explain it to their teenagers.
So please. Caption it. Stare at it. Consider it in the way it deserves to be considered.
Labels: old people