Tuesday, August 5, 2008

"This Party Is Full of Virgins"

In movies, nerdy teenagers will try any crazy scheme to lose their virginity; it's all they think about. That's all just Hollywood movie dust. Just look at these real life virgins - these nerds aren't even trying. They couldn't even give a fuck about getting laid. They have light sabers, for Chrissakes.



Making fun of people for being virgins is probably the best way to dis them. I'm not talking about purity-ring-wearing, Jonas-brothers-loving, saving-it-for-marriage virgins - there's nothing funny about that. At least those people have made a respectable choice and are sticking to it; unlike most of us who would hump an electrical socket if it giggled at our jokes long enough. I'm talking about people over the age of 18 who are probably not virgins. For example, next time you're at a party, just as you're leaving, say really loudly to your friend, "this party is totally full of virgins, let's get out of here." Or if someone spills beer or steps on your toe, just say "God, why do you have to be such a virgin?" Worst case scenario, everyone thinks you're a douche. Best case scenario, someone tries to prove it to you they're not a virgin. Face it, you're entire life is going to be flip flopping between those two scenarios anyway, so enjoy the ride.

10 comments:

Edith said...

They look so unhappy. If I was going to wear a stupid hat and play jedi master, I know I would at least be happy about it. Of course, I would probably get laid while doing it.

Zen Wizard said...

To their credit, the party REALLY started to heat up later.

Beverly said...

I am totally captivated by what it says on the dry erase board in the background, "Yes, this is mandatory for res hall." Imagine getting to college and having these virgins giving you your dorm orientation. Welcome to college, you will never get laid.

Anonymous said...

once i had a drunk fight with someone and called him a virgin and kept yelling "ZACK'S A VIRGIN" after the incident was over

Anonymous said...

wow, thanks... I needed a good cry.

brendan donnelly said...

equations about "how to get laid" written on the dry erase board, is the new, reading "the game"

Anonymous said...

Ooh, you said Jonas Brothers. Does loving them (at 28) revirginate me?

Leah said...

I was once really pissed off with a co-worker and yelled out "This is why you will die a virgin!"
He went bright red and didn't deny it hahahaha.
On another note, the second from the left looks like a guy I used to sleep with lol.

Anonymous said...

"Ooh, you said Jonas Brothers. Does loving them (at 28) revirginate me?"

no but it makes you pretty fucking gay

Viagra Without Prescription said...

all this brothers look like a group of geeks, just watch the light saber in their hands, what is the next? measure who have the longer "saber", you know that I talking about...