Monday, June 9, 2008

Why I Love Jewish People

Jewish people are always bragging about how their holidays are all about hard partying and getting drunk. "Oh man - Purim is all about just eating a ton of food and getting shitfaced!" Which makes sense, because unlike the rest of us, Jewish families don't have that token alcoholic aunt or cousin that they can't let around booze or she'll go get drunk and start crying and picking fights. And also their parents are chill liberals who like dancing and Frank Sinatra and let their kids have wine on special occasions.

And like, I get it - years of not getting to celebrate Christmas must lay a serious headtrip on a person, and they'll go to lengths to find ways to enjoy life without Santa Claus. Your family is always going to be a bunch of weirdos you can't relate to, so at least they might as well be nerds who like to party. Admit it, if this was your "crazy uncle", you'd be psyched. Unlike the standard child molester or incarcerated or deadbeat uncle, the weirdest thing he's doing is wearing a Periodic Table shirt and making goofy faces.

Mazel Tov and party on, my Jewish amigos.

Full disclosure: I found this pic by searching Flickr for "Nate Martin".


brendan donnelly said...


jews have channukah harry which is basically the uncle thats getting his life back on track and sleeping the basement of his sisters house (aka me in 10 years)

if you want a nate martin search try:
-dutch boy paint
-ishmel from the movie king pin
- peter berlin
- martin navratilova
- prince valiant
- phil spectors new haircut
- richard kiel
- little kid from family ties

thehistoryofmyfuture said...

HAHAHAHAHA! and that's regarding the nate martin part.

who writes this blog?

hard liquor; soft holes said...

HAHAHAHA, PETER BERLIN! nate wishes he was packin that heat.