Friday, January 16, 2009

Lanyards

I've lived a pretty sheltered life, mainly because around age 19 I became so obese I couldn't leave the house, like the mother in What's Eating Gilbert Grape. But what I learned before then was that you should never, EVER trust someone wearing a lanyard. If you're actually willing to sacrifice not looking like a total douche for whatever benefits the lanyard is affording you, you're so clearing drunk on power you'll probably piss the bed.

4 comments:

Brian said...

People looking that happy on either on really good drugs or very religious. Since their pupils aren't blown, I'll guess that they are Mormons and the lanyards are all access backstage passes to the Mormon Tabernacle???

kdub said...

I'd still do the guy on the right, Mormon or no Mormon.

Anonymous said...

i love lanyards, i have 3 lanyards - and i give lanyards as birthday gifts to my friends.

Dave - American Platypus said...

Don't hate on people who piss the bed.

And I keep a bail bondsman's lanyard in my apartment, hung around a closet door handle, just in case a friend calls from prison. So don't hate on lanyards, either.