Friday, April 29, 2011

Schmoyal Schmedding

So today is the royal wedding, which I guess is a cool party I'm missing, but ask me if I care because I have my lonesome self and an internet full of strangers' photos to keep me happy.  Plus, all British people are good for is partying really hard and having great haircuts, so here's a bunch of photos from 80s British teenagers:

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Fellas: Take Your Pick

Monday, April 25, 2011

Sleepy Knight

My friend Kevin just sent me this pic that he found while googling "birthday cake art". It's from an Irish rugby team's website, hidden someonewhere in their Misc files in their parent directory.  It's nice to see that totally fucked up shit still happens with Google image searches; it had gotten too clean and effective and totally boring. 

Who actually wants to find a picture of what they're actually searching for?  No one (except anyone submitting a search query for "justin beiber n00dz").

Saturday, April 23, 2011


The thing about burlesque is that it's really sexy, but the other thing is that the people who are into burlesque are really unsexy.

Friday, April 22, 2011

The Most Beautiful Hairs

Thursday, April 21, 2011


Wednesday, April 20, 2011

420 Awards

On this special day, I would like to present the 2011 "Teens, When Will You Learn Not to Post Photos of Yourself Doing Drugs on the Internet Award"

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Rave Warrior

Sunday, April 17, 2011

How to Talk to Children

Little sonny, now that you're old enough to drink a red cup of Coors from the keg like a big boy, let me tell you some truths:

Your mom is grinding. That's what moms do. Moms grind. Moms are made for grinding and cutting crusts of sandwiches and then lots more grinding.  There's an r&b song about a guy who is getting an erection because a girl is dancing too close to him, and he's worried she might be feeling "a little poke comin' through... on you". That song is about me when I watch your mother grind.

Now let me get you a refill.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Chocolate Fountain

Found this searching for "30th birthday", and it's depressing as hell. Old people are so excited by a chocolate fountain. Ok, I guess everyone is.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Party Pals

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Right Before the Band Broke Up

Friday, April 8, 2011

Bleached Out

This photo is titled "Spa party!", and I was really hoping that it was a bunch of 13 year olds getting their moustaches bleached.  But alas, it appears they're just doing the "Got Milk?" thing.

I don't know why I'm still posting this, since I've just admitted "I thought this pic would be cool, but it's actually lame."  SUE ME, OK? I STILL LIKE IT.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Man Day Thursday: Pick Your Douche

God, it's been a while since my last Man Day Thursday, and I'm feeling this deep park pit inside me that can only be filled with Axe body spray, TapOut muscle tees, and Under Armour boxers-briefs.

What I need to fill this void is a trifecta of douches to choose from. Which one do I want to accompany home to his bachelor pad with black furniture and Asian art??? I'm spoiled for choice! There's the Kiss shirt, the Bam Margera upside-down heart logo shirt (whether this particular logo is for Bam or that stupid Finnish band he likes is irrelevant), or the fraternity letters shirt?

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

What's New, Pussycat?


Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Beer Pong Grandma

Monday, April 4, 2011

My Favorite Person on the Internet

If Myspace was "a place for friends", then Twitter is a really good place for "getting obsessed with people you don't know IRL". And I'm completely obsessed with one particular user, @casualmalexlfan, who never tweets anything about his (or her) real life, just jokes about Xbox, Justin Beiber, stepdads, Jose Canseco, i.e. things that appeal to my interests. I have no idea who this person is, I just know that everything he writes is 100% perfect.

The other day, he posted this photo, which is definitely one of those things that has been around the internet for a while, and I avoid posting those kinds of pics.  But this one is really just SO good, with so many elements I love (Coyote Ugly style bar, projectile vomiting, striped polo shirts) and I feel like I would be not doing my duty if I didn't share this with you all. 

So enjoy.  And take my advice: follow @casualmalexlfan.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Stand-Up Style

I made a new blog dedicated to my person style icons, 80s/90s stand-up comedians:  Stand-Up Style