Thursday, September 30, 2010

Party Cleanup

Last weekend, I had a party at my place.  To my delight, the girl who had passed out on the couch had woken up early and cleaned up all the bottles and glasses and cans.  What a miracle to not have to clean up!  

This poor fellow, on the other hand, still needed a little dust-busting.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I Would Do Anything for Joose (But I Won't Do That)

(in case you're unfamiliar, Joose is a Sparks-esque caffeinated alco-pop drink that takes like statutory rape.)

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Shitfaced Man's Best Friend

 Someone get this dog a sharpie.

Monday, September 27, 2010

U Mad?


Friday, September 24, 2010

Everyone Looks Stupid Dancing

I bet this looked pretty cool when they were actually in motion. This guy has his own creative moves, maybe something he calls "the monkey strut" and his date pretends to be the seductive zookeeper. Too bad it just looks like this:

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Boogey Man

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Hey DJ


Monday, September 20, 2010

World's #1 Stoner Girl

I've seen a lot of photos on Flickr that would make any parent or guidance counselor cringe with how stupid young people can be about posting incriminating stuff on the internet. But this girl has blown any of these out of the bongwater by a headshop. In addition to photos of her nerdy boyfriend and her dog, her Flickr is full of picture after picture after picture of herself smoking weed out of a variety of bongs, joints, and pipes.

At first I was aghast, but the more I looked through her photostream, the more I was kind of charmed by her. She's so adorable and guileless; it made all this illicitness seems so innocent, what could be addiction comes off instead as exuberance and a artistic dedication to documenting daily bong-rips.

And because I know you want it:

Now, before you go proposing marriage to her, I should warn you - she's also batshit crazy:

Lesson is: drugs don't make you crazy, and not everyone who is crazy does a lot of drugs, but everyone who does a lot of drugs IS crazy. Sorry kids, that's just the rules. No exceptions. 

Wow, this post turned into a real fucking bummer. Just like real life. Sighsies.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Turning Japanese

Phone's on "vibrate".

Friday, September 17, 2010

Homeowners Party

Sometimes I'm sad that I live in an apartment and not a real house. But then I remember that when you have a house, you also have a wet, depressing garage. You can't be delusional about it and think that your garage is an acceptable place to host a party, any more than I can pretend the narrow gated space outside my apartment building where the trash cans go is "yard".

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Bubble Trouble

White guy on left is clearly secretly farting and hoping the girls won't see the bubbles.


Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Party Hat Math

In general, one can accept that there is an inverse ratio of how much fun someone appears to actually be having compared to how much fun their hats are boasting they are having.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Baby Shower

In case you're squinting to read it, the tattoo across her stomach reads "BAD THOUGHTS".


Monday, September 13, 2010

Coming Up Daisies

Thanks to Noralee for this pic.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Market Research

Have you heard about Coor Light's new advertising campaign? They're targeting specifically men who fantasize about their kids' kindergarten teachers during parent-teacher conference.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Three's Company, Too

Yoinks. Sorry buddy, sucks to get friend-zone boxed out by a gay dude.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Leaning Tower of Kegs


Monday, September 6, 2010

Happy Labor Day!


Saturday, September 4, 2010

Wazzzzzup My Niggas!?!

Yo it's me, Lil' Madison here at this hella pimpin' prom. It's off the chizzy, yo. That's the word for chain. Got my boo Tommy T-bone here, he's got a dopeass matching hot pink cummerbund and tie that matches my dress. I look fly as hell, cuz hot pink is my favorite color, yo! My moms was all mad though, she said I was looking too sexy. Well, how am I supposed to look? You gotta let me be me, gotta let this sexy shine through. My pops was taking so many pictures of us at the house before we got in the limo, I was like "lmao, what are you, the paparazzi!?"

Ok, ttyl, gotta go sneak these Malibu minibottles out of my purse so me and T-bone here can get crunked up before we hit the lakehouse and I blow his mind with my special grape jelly handjob.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Two Huge Pussies Partying


Thursday, September 2, 2010

Dance Contest

Look, I don't have that good an idea what's going on here, but this photo was titled "Yahoo Punk Party".  So go figure.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Babe Parade