Saturday, February 27, 2010

Dutty Wine

Friday, February 26, 2010

Hot Tub Party

Today seems like a pretty good day for a hot tub, right? Nice and snowy and slushy and cold. Makes you think you wouldn't even mind all the bacteria and semen for just a few minutes of hot steamy bliss.

On a related note, if you live in NYC and want to go to a free screening of "Hot Tub Time Machine" this Tuesday evening, email me at
UPDATE: Sorry, all the passes are gone.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Basic Party Math



Thanks, Max Wowch for your mAd pHotOsHoP sKillZ.

In Hybrid Moments

You guys wanna hear a story about the time I met Jerry Only from The Misfits?  I must preface this with a brief explanation:  I used to be really into professional wrestling.  Like, really really into it.  Like, I actually went to WrestleMania.  I am not talking about when I was 8.  I'm talking post-virginity.  I used to carry around in my wallet a trading card of The Rock and a  black and white photo of Shawn Michaels I clipped out of a wrestling magazine.  I read wrestling gossip sites every day (this was in pre-blog times).  I bought wrestling magazines.  I owned wrestling t-shirts.  I made my own t-shirts.  I went to shitty local pro wrestling events with about 30 people in the audience at the Somerville, MA version of Dave & Busters. 

I bought pay-per-view events.

So a friend and I bought tickets to see The Misfits play at Roseland.  When we showed up, there was a sign taped to the door that the show was canceled.  Since we were in midtown on a Thursday evening, I suggested we go to the WWF restaurant (now the Hard Rock Cafe).  When we arrived, guess who's there:  Jerry Only, in full Misfits makeup and outfit.

At this time, there was a wrestler in WCW, Vampiro, whom Jerry had been acting as the manger/valet for.  Vampiro's schtick was basically "Misfits fan" (wrestling fans may notice this was a copycat of Sting's post-neon Crow look).  Around this exact moment, several wrestlers from WCW ("The Radicalz") were about to switch over to WWF (I knew because I obsessively read wrestling gossip websites).

I don't think I've ever actually gone up and talked to a famous person, and I'm only an average Misfits fan, but the thing here was that I was a HUGE wrestling fan.  Seeing someone affiliated with WCW at the WWF restaurant was like the hugest scoop ever, and I had to find out.  So I summoned my courage to go over to him, and we talked about Eric Bishoff, the state of WCW, and wrestling for a half hour or so.

Ok, I get it.  it's not like I met Glen Danzig, Jerry Only sucks, yeah yeah yeah.  That's what a Misfits fan would say.  But a wrestling fan?  This was a huge deal.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Why You Should Fuck on the First Date

Here's some wisdom for the kids:  Every second of your life is tick tick ticking away. One day you're gonna wake up, and guess what? By the time you've changed your mind, no one wants to fuck you on the first date anymore.

Friday, February 19, 2010


(Thank God It's Hairless Man Chest)

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Be Mine

Friday, February 12, 2010

I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Hos Before Bros

Do you know what lesbians think when they see this?  First, they think about all the homophobia, oppression, discrimination, and hatred they've faced.  They think about how hard it was to come out to their parents, how they still can't tell their 85 year old Catholic grandma because she'd have a stroke.  They'd think about how ingrained in our society it is to treat them like second class citizens, and they see this and they think, "yep, it's still worth it."

Thanks to James for the photo.

Where FTW Was Invented

So FTW that his name on his cup is "Fly".

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Family Fun

I never really felt sorry for my parents having to have all their vacation with me and my brother. But man, that must've sucked for them.

Thanks, Sasha, for the pic.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Foam Party Fail

Why are the people at a foam party never the kind of people you'd want to see at a foam party?

Well, on the other hand, who exactly do you WANT to see? Other foam party fans? Sounds like a group that makes for a social situation equivalent of a wet fart.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Treasured Memories

What really makes wedding memories special is if you are lucky enough to get the photographer's asscrack in your photos while the groomsmen and bridesmaids are walking down the aisle.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

You and Me

Here's the difference between you and me.  You see this picture and you see a bunch of ugly and medium desperate oldish people.  I look at this and I see a bunch of really really shitfaced Europeans after 2:30am.  Either way, we're both getting laid tonight, so quit complaining.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Groundhog Day Desserts

Groundhog Day is a really excellent holiday to get really into.  Today, send someone you love a Groundhog's Day card.  Or maybe call up an old friend you haven't talked to in a long time and say that you just wanted to wish them a happy G.D.  Mention that whatever you're wearing is a specially planned Groundhog Day colors outfit (no one can argue with that).  Mutter at the water cooler that you can't believe your office is open on this sacred day. 

I know what you're thinking - holidays are only real if there's special food that goes along with them. Well, check out these Groundhog desserts and treats, and then tell me it's not a bonafide holiday! Basically the chocolate cupcake is to Groundhog Day what turkey is to Thanksgiving:

Monday, February 1, 2010


You know when you're getting dressed to go out, and you have to check how you look if you aren't sucking in your gut, just in case your outfit only looks good when you're posing in the mirror?