Thursday, December 31, 2009

Best the Best of Sorry I Missed Your Party 2009

If you're a busy sophisticated person like me, your schedule is so jam packed with lunches and cultural events that you don't have time to be dillydallying on the internet all day like some basement-dwelling mouth breather who spends Friday nights reading 4chan and flame waring on teenager's youtube accounts.

Oh wait, except the exact opposite for me.

But if you WERE the kind of person who is too busy to check Sorry I Missed Your Party everyday (which you are probably not, since you are reading this on New Year's Eve when you should be out partying IRL), I've made things easy for you. Here is the best of the past year, all in one convenient post so you can jet off in time for your black tie event at the endangered animals' museum society gala ball.

Smell ya l8r, 2009:

Happy 2010, internet. Love, your bff.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Art School Is the Pits

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Why I Hate My Mom's Birthday

Thanks, Sybil.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

The Disparity of Self Awareness: Dancing

This is what you think you look like:

This is what you actually look like:

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The Doctor Will See You Now

Ripping massive bongloads is a science, so it makes perfect sense you'd want to wear puppy themed nursing scrubs while doing it.  Besides, you don't want to spill bongwater or blood on your regular clothes, right?

Monday, December 21, 2009

Peeing in the Pool

Sometime this past summer, a study came out that 1 out of 5 people admit to peeing in the pool.  I say that means 4 out of 5 people are fucking liars. 

Point is, I see at least 5 people in this pool, and I have a good guess on who it is that's going to activate the purple dye.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Thank God It's Dilf Friday

This is so confusing; I'm just glad it's Friday because I think this will make a lot more sense to me after 14 beers.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Body Shotz

What you don't realize is the lemon wedge is because she just finished taking a body shot off of Harry Truman.

Ok, that's not true and furthermore I don't even know who Harry Truman is. Was he the Tonight Show host before Johnny Carson?

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Crotch Grind Sesh

This is possibly my favorite party picture in a long long time. Do yourself a favor and click on the image to check out some of the other photos from this user's photostream.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Live Fast, Die Pretty

I guess she's got the first part down, but I'm pretty curious about her plans for achieving phase 2 of this plan.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Thursday, December 10, 2009

High School Reunion

This picture is at a 15th year high school reunion for the Class of 71.   Guess who all the guys wanted a piece of?

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Bad Santas

For a few weeks out of the year, Santa gets to be the cats of the internet (meaning everything funny about the internet). Check out Off Duty Santa or Santa, No! for evidence.  To jump on the bandwagon, I wrote about Holland's coolest Christmas tradition for the Faster Times.
I'll give you a hint, it looks like this:

Here Is Why You Fucked All Three of These Guys

You're still confused? I'll break it down for you.  The dark haired guy because he was cute and sensitive, the middle guy because he was so persistent, and the guy with the glasses because you couldn't figure out why he wasn't interested in you, and you had already gone through the first two by the end of the semester.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

A Pretty Shitty Boob Cake

Pretty hilarious that Photobucket deleted this pic for inappropriate content.

Monday, December 7, 2009

The Night You Were Conceived

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Disco Werewolf Bar Mitzvah

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

You Said You'd Call

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Thursday, November 26, 2009

What I am Thankful For

Wednesday, November 25, 2009


I was looking through some of my old pictures lately, and I saw one where I was doing the devil horns hand signal.  I wanted to build a time machine, go back in time to the past me just before the picture was taken, grab a rope and a butcher's cleaver, tie my arm down and chop off my index and pinky fingers so that I could never, ever make that photo happen.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus: Puking Edition

This is the difference between men and women.  Since men have short hair and don't need their friends to hold their hair for them while they puke, male friends basically have open season for goofing on you while you puke.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Cure for a Case of the Mondays

Prince Beer Gut

Doesth thou not know that in medieval tymes that a portly stature was a sign that a gentleman was of great wealth and importance?  You ingrate knaves, only a lowly commoner wouldst posses defined abdominals from the work of tilling the fields of my fiefdom. 

Thanks to Philip for this photo.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Beach Babes

Thanks to Jamie for this pic.

TGIF Chug Dares

This video of a kid chugging a 1/5 of vodka on a bet is kind of horrific, but also kind of slow. It's over 4 mintues, so let me spoil it for you: he finishes it. Let your mind be boggled:

Thursday, November 19, 2009

You're So Vain (and Mostly Drunk)

I don't know what to think about this girl.  On one hand, she's a total square cheeseball, but on the other hand, I just can't deny that she looks like a lot of fun.  I think the final verdict is coming down to the fact that of her Flickr photostream, she appears in about 95% of her own photos, which is kind of borderline personality disorder-ish.

Whenever I see people who appear in almost all of their own photos, I always wonder how they manage this. Are they just always asking someone else to use their camera for them? I feel like the etiquette when you want a photo of yourself is to gamely take a few pictures of others first so you don't appear too vain. Or maybe they take lots of pictures, but then only bother to upload the ones of themselves?