Saturday, May 31, 2008

Robo Tripping

Evidence of a WBNA doping scandal.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Office partied

In honor of my special pal Amy, who's having her last day at work today, here's some miserable, spine-tinglingly depressing office parties. Cringe on your own time.

Hogan's Heroes

Chugging some icy cold Coors Lights on a boat with Nick Hogan might seem cool, but that's how you end up in a coma.

(Thanks for designated driving, Polio)

Sorry I Missed Your Giant Faux Pas

Who's the bitch who thought it was acceptable to wear a skimpy WHITE dress to someone else's wedding? You can see how steaming mad the bride is.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Keeping My Edge sXe, Part 2

Back in high school, I used to have a lot of Mormon friends, and they were always coming up with the funnest things to do. Because when you're not spending your energy trying to get laid or drunk, you put your mind into really creative stuff.

Hanging out with one straight edge person is annoying. Hanging out with a whole group of only straight edge kids is going to end up way more fun than all the times you got drunk and nothing really happened. When's the last time you were wasted with your buddies, and someone said "hey, let's make costumes and put on a play!"? That's something only a mind that hasn't been soiled with Busch lite and bong rips would come up with.

Look at these guys. Not a beer in sight.

Thanks to Beth for the pic.

Sensual Grinding

How'd you like to be the meat in this studmuffin sandwich?

Wednesday, May 28, 2008


I mean, he's literally wearing a propeller beanie.

And You Think Your Dad Is Embarassing...

... At least he didn't show up like this to the Memorial Day block party.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Zapruder Footage

Oh god, I wish I could see that video footage. This is a moment that deserves the vitality of motion.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Happy Memorial Day!

Saturday, May 24, 2008

A Moment Of Clarity

Suddenly, the guy in the middle realized what he was a part of. And he was not pleased at all.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Who You Gonna Call?

Keg Busters!!!

Party for one

It's just me, my crazy hairdo, the stream, and my only friend, Bartles & Jaymes.

Here's my only question:

Which one of the hot guys am I going to fuck first?

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Holy Grail

What are they pouring in that cup? Pure angel blood?

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

A personal note

I might goof on people for looking stupid while having a good time, but I'm not above it myself. I've been partying pretty hard for a long time. Just check out my baby picture.

Almost a "Roman Helmet"

Roman Helmet: n. While they are passed out, gently and inconspicuously place your fleshy bag on their forehead while carefully laying down your dudemeat down the bridge of their nose in parallel fashion.

Definition from

Thanks for the pic, Nick.

Coors Lite "Twins" costume party

Remember a few years ago that ad campaign for Coors Lite with the jingle about various good things like your favorite sports team winning........ and twins!!!!!!

Is something considered "viral" if sluts dress up as the ad campaign for Halloween costumes? I feel like that's an extremely accurate use of the term. Since you will definitely get a virus from one of these ladies.

A human pyramid of people I don't want to have sex with

The composition skillfully draws the eye toward the center, thusly confronting the viewer with the reality one's own boner deflation.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Awkward transition

Suffice to say, the menage-a-trois did not go smoothly....

Smug jerk


Monday, May 19, 2008

Hairdresser's parties

This was found on a hairdresser's Flickr page. Next time I go to get my hair cut, I'm going to ask for the tri-hawk with platinum tips and red roots. To match my 3-piece suit for a fancy occasion (hopefully a family wedding).

Then, things got kind of weird....

Friday, May 16, 2008

Q: When is it not a good idea to do another keg stand?

A: When you've already pissed your pants.

If only for the sake of your friends who have to lift you.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Definition of a "party pooper"

Can't you at least pretend to have fun?

GoThPuNkRaVe kickline

It's hard to look tough when you're doing a Rockettes kickline.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Party Injury

Hey pal, don't you realize that's how you ended up with the cast in the first place?

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Showin' you my "O" Face

"O" as in "ouch".

Thanks to Rachel for the pic.

Kiddie Pool Party

Not too long ago, I filled up a kiddie pool in my tiny backyard and had a party. It was a little awkard, but a lot of fun. I didn't empty the pool for weeks, so the fetid water just sat there, festering with bacteria. When I finally drained it out, it was one of the worst smells I've ever smelled. 100% worth it though.

Techincolor Dream Pants

Where can I get pants that describe EXACTLY the situation I'm in at the given moment? It's like they're made of some futuristic substance that works like hyper-color, but can change to describe exactly what you are doing: drinking beer and looking nuts.

Except instead of BEER NUTS mine would say YOGURT BORED.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Political Party

I couldn't find any good pics of people partying in Obama shirts. C'mon, college kids?! What are you lazy jerks doing if not doing idealistic kegstands?! Shit, hasn't Jesse Camp taught you anything about rocking the vote?

Animate this (part 2)

Thanks to 3 anonymous donors for making these animated gifs. I am astounded by your technical prowess.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Animate This

Can someone PLEASE make an animated gif flipping between these two photos?

Friday, May 9, 2008

It's hard to be the loner

Ever go to a party, and you only know one other person, and you realize that they haven't shown up yet? Now imagine how awful that would feel if there was no booze at the party.

Hookah ownership

Owning your own hookah is a pretty big commitment to a certain type of lifestyle. When you make that commitment this young, it's a sign of devotion to partying for the rest of your life.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Watch out where you pass out

Look, I don't want to dissuade anyone from doing the responsible thing and crashing on the floor instead of driving home after a long night of partying.

Just be aware of what underwear you are wearing that day...

Why aren't I invited to more parties like this?

One great night

Kids these days really know how to do it up.