Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Barefoot in the Frat House

The thing I find most horrifying about this is that they apparently have a no-shoes policy.  Look at the pile of shoes by the door.  The white socks.  The one guy holding the bong appears to actually be wearing slippers instead of moccassins.

I absolutely loathe having to take my shoes off inside because I'm afraid of stepping on something sharp.  When I was a kid I read a book about the San Fransisco earthquake of 1906, and it said that because the earthquake happened in the early morning while people were still in bed, everyone ran out into the street barefoot and ended up with massive injuries from all the broken glass cutting their feet.  This HORRIFIED me beyond belief.  Way more than the tragedy of people losing their homes or dying. 

One of the most terrifying cinematic moments for me is in Die Hard when Hans Gruber tells his henchman to "shoot the glass" so that John McClane has to walk across the broken glass barefoot.  At that point, I basically just want John to give up and let the terrorists win.  I've had it. 


Friday, February 24, 2012

The Big Chill Upskirt


Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Clean Cut Cuddle Party

I was looking for cuddle party photos in hopes of seeing some real unsavory degenerates, but instead I found these goddamn eagle scouts.  These turd nuggets are so wholesome with their white teeth and great skin and genuine smiles.

I'm pissed as heck and I am only consoling myself with the hopes that these guys have terrible shoulder bacne.


Friday, February 17, 2012

Humiliating Head Gear

I was completely delighted by this old photo and the funny hats they're wearing at a New Year's Eve party.


I starting thinking about the downfall of the noble Party Hat happened with those stupid 200X glasses. Although in this photo, the real humiliation is how poorly it was color-corrected and "denoised".

Monday, February 13, 2012

Pigs in a Baja Blankey

I don't have a lot of talent for most things, but one thing I am good at is being the person at a party who talks to the cops and convinces them not to shut down the party and that we'll just turn down the music.  The trick is just to be nice and polite.  That's not really a cop-trick, that's a life-trick.  Just always be nice, you jerks.

Anyway, it's nice to see the guy in the striped drug-rug pullover is using that same technique.  Although, to be fair, I'd love to see that guy get tasered and cuffed for the crime of wearing a ski hat with tassles when it's clearly not cold out. 


Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Lending a Helping Hand


Tuesday, February 7, 2012

It's a Shame About Evan

Evan Dando has a Twitter account that's strange and rambling, and yes, it's really him.

He's not shy about posting pics of his post-show partying at all [note the white lines on the coffee table]. Holy fuck.


Friday, February 3, 2012

Badass Krew


Thursday, February 2, 2012

SIMYP Travel Guide: Guide Books

Is there anything worse than someone who considers "travel" among their interests?  I've done my fair share of international travel, but always begrudgingly and with a keen eye to notice what flaw in another country I can remember to make fun of when I return home (aka Chinese toilets are hideous).


In my travels, I've gained an appreciation for those Lonely Planet or whathaveyou guidebooks.  Yes, I know, I know, they're cheesy and hideous.  And of course I'd prefer not to use one at all.  Everyone wants to not use the guidebook and be carefree.  You don't want to be that tourist with your nose in a guidebook like chump.  Of course not.  But what you really want is for your traveling companion to be the one who totes the book and does that all for you.  Somehow I've ended up traveling with people who disdain the guidebook even more than me, which means that I'm the one stuck carrying it.  And you know what? They come in handy, ok? 

Here's the absolute worst part about those books:  after your trip is done, you're stuck with this ugly book on your shelf.  Taunting you even more because it tells everyone who comes over exactly where you been and that you required a guidebook for it.  Mortifying.  I've tried as best as possible to shove these books off on friends who've mentioned a whiff of interest of traveling to those places.  You don't want people coming over and the first thing they see is that giant white text on the thick blue spin.  "Oh, you went to Spain?!"   

Anyway, point is, we now know DJ Denim over here has been to Thailand.