Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Oversized

Is this guy drinking beer from a Nalgene?  Blue Solo cup not big enough for you, pal?  Too busy to stand around refilling at the keg? 

This is what makes America great*.  Take a look a this group of cool guys and tell me you wouldn't laugh in my face if I said these guys were from Belgium or Moscow.  There's no doubt if you could cut through the layer subcutaneous fat squeezing their heart valves dangerously tight, they'd bleed red, white, and blue.


*great: Giant Regal Enormous Androgynous Tubbies

Friday, December 23, 2011

Gross Food

Last night I made "grasshopper pie", my favorite Christmas treat since childhood that my mother makes.   As I was making it, I realized how totally 70s this recipe is - it calls for margarine, liquor, packaged cookies, and Fluff*

Old timey food is gross and weird.  It's all like weird meat gellatins and stuff. 


*Grasshopper pie is a delightful mint/oreo flavored no-bake pie. The green color is festive for Christmas, and it's great to tell little kids it's made with real grasshoppers (I believed that).


Photo from SavingDessert.com  I make it with way more oreo crumbs on top because that's the best part.


Here's my mom's recipe:

Crust:
35 crushed Oreos
1/4 cup melted margarine
Melt the margarine in a pan (or microwave).  Add the crushed Oreos and press into the bottom of the pan and up the sides, saving some to put on the top.

Filling:
1-7 ounce jar of Marshmallow Fluff
2 cups of heavy cream
1/4 cup green Creme de Menthe (if you get the clear version of the liquor, add green food coloring to the filling)
1/8 cup of Creme de Cacao

Whip cream.  Fold into Fluff.  Gradually add creme de menthe and creme de cacao.

Add remaining crumbs to the top.

Cover tightly and freeze.  Can be kept frozen for 1 month.  You can double the recipe and make it in a springform pan for a giant deep slice.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Party World Tour: Scottsdale, AZ

Is it something that's discussed that Scottsdale, Arizona secretly has the trashiest people?  I don't think it is.  So I'll go ahead and explain:  it's like some weird amalgam of Los Angeles and Tampa, Florida, but yet without the charm of either.  It's also the locale of the best TV show ever, Sex Decoy: Love Stings on the Fox Reality channel.  The premise of the show is a private detective agency run by a former stripper MILF and her 3 stripper daughters where set up sting seduction operations on suspected cheaters.  I can't believe this kind off quality programming was canceled.

Anyway, I've never been to Scottsdale, but I'm mostly ok with making hasty judgements based off of photos I've found on Flickr.  It seems whenever I come across a photo of some really wasted blonds in club clothes, it turns out to be Scottsdale.

They look they're from Florida, but with more expensive haircuts and highlights, and yet aren't as stylish or thin as people from California.

Here's what I mean:







Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Maid To Order

This reminds me of that Ally Sheedy 80s movie Maid to Order where she's a rich girl who wakes up in jail in a ball gown and her fairy godmother has cast a spell on her to make her poor to teach her a lesson.

I remember seeing this on TV when I was a kid and liking it, but it's probably one of those movies from your childhood that don't really hold up.  Kind of like this girl started out her night feeling fresh and looking great, and then seeing pics later realized it all ended up all hot mess texting the ex from the ground.



Trailer for Maid to Order:

Friday, December 16, 2011

Pudding Face

I think the most disturbing thing about this photo is that the guy who sent it to me just wrote "I think she wanted it" in the body of his email. 

Shiver


Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Prom Mom

"Come here you have a little schmutz on there.  Let me get that off for you. Ugh, what is this, peanut butter? Why can't you use a napkin?!"




Monday, December 12, 2011

Bro Pile

You've heard of a beeramid, but this is specific frat refinement: a bro-amid.  A pyramid of bros. 
BTW, why you can always tell Boston guys even without their Red Sox hats?  I can tell so immediately if someone is from Boston.  I guess maybe LA is like that?  I don't think you can spot other cities so easily.  Maybe I'm just biased because I'm so familiar with the Boston Bro.


Friday, December 9, 2011

Santa Baby



Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Beer Pong Surprise

I was just looking through my gmail Drafts folder and saw a message from months ago with the subject: "balls", and only a link to this photo in the body of the email. No idea who I was planning on sending this to, but I'm glad I rediscovered it.


Monday, December 5, 2011

Kiss the Ring

Knave, doth thou not know to kneel before thy party queen? Thine foul lips are not worthy to kiss the ring on her highness's finger. To even be in the presence of Her Majesty's crown of "Drunk" trucker hat should make thy heart quiver.

h

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Browsing the CD Book

A serious music fan selects the perfect party playlist.


Friday, December 2, 2011

Soaked

This pic grosses me out bigtime.


Thursday, December 1, 2011

I've Found Love


Oh hi! I have some exciting updates about my personal life. I've been so lonely, just sitting here at my computer.
 
But just recently, I met this awesome new guy through cougarlife.com. We have so much in common! I'm so happy, he really "gets" me!  Here he is: