Monday, October 31, 2011

I Hate the Qwikster Costume Guy

I hate this guy for his stupid internet-joke costume, and I hate him for his mountain bike hanging on a rack inside, and I hate his dumb lamp and I hate his sad coffee table with a folded up towel on it, and I hate his fan and I hate his dumb plastic blinds and his hideous couch.

Fuck you, clever costume guy. I hate your dumb jokes and your dumb face.  At least I'll take solace in knowing this is not a getting-laid-costume, so have fun coming back to your sad apartment that looks like you just moved in but you've been here all summer and masturbating to Asian girl pornography.

12 comments:

sam said...

and i hate that the DVD is addressed to TYLER DURDEN. what a dork.

Anonymous said...

This is pretty much my life except for the costume (I don't know anyone and just sit and masturbate on Halloween). But at least I have so much hair! Just lots of hair.

Santos L. Halper said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Santos L. Halper said...

Yup my life too. Except my bike and bike rack are both sitting assembled in a dark corner.

But, I think it'd work better if he was dressed as elmo smoking a spliff.

Anonymous said...

obviously I meant unassembled but I can't type because I'm a moron. NOT LOGGING BACK IN.

Anonymous said...

a) Living in an efficiency where your bike hangs on a wall next to a framed poster, and your companions are a torchiere and a box fan

b) Having no hair

I'm not sure which is more pathetic. Being older than 25 and living like that, or being under 25 and having no hair. Bottom line is, he's not getting laid this decade.

Thomas said...

Lots of negative vibes here.

Are you guys ok?

Anonymous said...

Yeah, you people are haters. Fuck it.

JamesForeman said...

he probably has japanese tea ceremonies on that dumb table and makes everybody pronounce "pho" correctly when he serves it to them in fair trade ceramic bowls.

and that stupid little ironing board. I bet he irons his Internet meme t-shirts that made sense to eight people for a month three years ago.

Kristen said...

Ouch. And ha!

Orange Boot Camp said...

We should not create the complexities by such stories. Compromise is the best tool to live the life happily.

girl26 said...

his small smile is mildly endearing! he's alright by me.