Monday, August 30, 2010

Dunce Dance

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R2D2 Birthday Cake


Saturday, August 28, 2010

Prom


Friday, August 27, 2010

TGIF


Thursday, August 26, 2010

White Chicks

Somewhere, in the steely cold of the night, a Wayans brother weeps big hiccuping sobs of regret and things that could've been.


Thanks to Olivia for the photo.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Homemade Hot Tub Party


Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Party Bus Ettiquette

Pro tip: When someone yells "shotgun!" right before entering a party bus, they do not mean they are claiming the front seat.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Sorry I Missed the Barf Bag

Sunday, August 22, 2010

No One Is Impressed with Your Guitar Solo

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Growing Up

What's that, little fella down there at the bottom with your mouth agape?  You're acting as if never saw your mom take a beer bong at your birthday party.

Welcome to the real world, lil' buddy.

Thanks to Crystal, who sent me this pic of a pivotal moment in her son's child-rearing.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Down Under (the Table)

Someone just sent me these photos they took of a couple undernearth a grand piano at a nightclub in Perth, Australia. Nice work, buddy. Nice work.




This actually reminds me a bit of a post I did a long time ago that I was particularly proud of it's title, "Low Life Sneaking a Grope Under the Miller High Life":

Hard to Explain

I don't think I can really articulate this well, but I've been saving this photo in my "Favorites" for a while now, and it's maybe my favorite picture.... ever. I just can't really explain why. But you get it, right?


Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Bad Reception

"I can't hear you... I'm busy here being an Australian's nightmare."


Monday, August 16, 2010

I Like Turtles.

Oh man, I have a few questions for this lil' guy, but I hope so hard his only answer is that he likes turtles.


Sunday, August 15, 2010

Tequila Shot Pain

From left to right, this is the exact sequence of faces I made when I found out the beautiful angel, Tila Tequila, was hurt by those horrible juggalos throwing bottles at her this weekend.  Love you, my sweet Vietnamese borderline personality princess. 

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Most Miserable Man in History

The competition for Most Miserable Man is heating up with this pathetic piece of shit, snoozing off while his buddies grind the night away. 

Thanks to Mason for the pic.

Who is more miserable?
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Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Bong Nap

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

What Your Facial Hair Says About You

Stereotypes are bad, and you shouldn't just a book by it's cover....
but at the same time, we see your muttonchop sideburn/handlebar mustache combo, and we know you've passed out drunk at least once in the past year.

Monday, August 9, 2010

A Simple Request

I don't want to sound like a noodge, can you please swap outfits with each other?

Thanks,
xoxox Everyone

Guitar An Hero

We're shocked by suicide because to a sane person, it's so unfathomable. But when you look at this miserable, horrible, meaningless existence, maybe it's more shocking it doesn't just happen all the time.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Cool Teens

I don't know how to say this without it sounding like sour grapes (and realistically, that's probably what it is), but I feel pretty sure that if you were a confident, attractive teen, the rest of your life is kind of fucked, right? I dunno, maybe that's not true at all. Who knows. Cool teens with no acne and high self-esteem, holler at me.
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Thursday, August 5, 2010

Swinger Party Decor


I was trying to think of what to say about this photo - something about red underwear under brown tights looks like finding blood in the skidmarks in your underwear, or how she must be so wildly drunk she took her clothes off.  But then I scrolled down to read the description, and it's about 100 times better than anything I could have ever made up:

Title: "Amy's 1st Swing Party"
Description:   Husband and i are only going to soft swing she told me.
I negotiated her upstairs, and after the three articles of clothing were off, i did get her to fuck me and wife. She was not too worried about hubby at that point:)
Bwahahahah!!!  This really puts all the other details in the photo into perspective:  it's clearly some kind of Halloween party (you can see the pirate wench in the back).  Look at the spiderweb plastic table cloth!  Imagine you're throw a wild swinging sex party in your suburban home, and you don't want to use the nice tablecloth (jizz stains are a beast to get out).  So you go out to Wal-Mart or Target or Party City and go browsing for festive decor. Red plastic cups, maybe paper plates, TONS of napkins (you always run out), and of course, a plastic tablecloth.

Was there more than one spooky tablecoth, and she had to choose between the two?  Did she stand there for a moment in Party City, the spiderweb table cloth in one had, and a pumkpin and ghost tablecloth in the other, staring at them?

Did she read the fine print about the size dimensions and do that thing where you think, "50 inches... that's about, what? 4 feet?" because you're incable of imagining that many inches so you have to convert it to feet.  And you wonder why they don't just write it as "4 feet, 2 inches" in the first place, since everyone has to do it in their heads anyway?

All just so a bunch of strangers could fuck people other than their husbands and wives.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Sharp Dressed Men

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Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Most Miserable Man in the World

If you can't find joy in house parties in warehouses and pretty girls smoking joints, then my friend, you have earned your title as the most miserable man in the world. Guess what? Everything else in your life is going to be about 20 times worse than this moment.
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UPDATE: reader Ryan G. claims his friend pictured below is even more miserable, and deserves the crown. Verdict?

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UPDATE UPDATE! The photographer of photo #1 contacted me and explained that the two girls are lesbians. How's that for a twist ending?

Monday, August 2, 2010

In Opposite Land

Girls are this excited about going home with shitfaced guys.


Also in Opposite Land: he manages to maintain an erection after putting on a condom and fully perform.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Epic Bukkake Party

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