Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Great Idea!
Quick, someone get me the ad exec in charge of Andy Capp's Hot Fries on the phone. I came up with a brilliant tagline for a new commercial:
So good, you'll roofie the shit out of your girlfriend so you can have them all to yourself!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Teenage Caveman
My DEEP THOUGHTS are kind of on the same brainwavelength as an irritating 2nd grader, so a game I like to play a lot is called "who thought of that first?" Usually this goes back far enough to caveman times; things that are deeply ingrained in human culture, but are clearly culture, not nature. Like cooking an egg or eating the heart of an artichoke. Why would anyone look at an artichoke and think "maybe even though the leaves taste like poison and have sharp thorns, there might be something deep down there that's delicious if boiled and dipped in butter!"
I understand the biological impetus for genital copulation, but who was that first caveman who french kissed? Who looked over at Oog and thought, "golly, her gaping maw looks inviting - I'd like to put my mouth right on top of it and mush it around!" Or maybe there IS an biological imperative for mouth kissing - like the way birds instinctively know mating calls, maybe humans have a evolutionary instinct that says "I want to suck on the hole in your face where you stick your food in." I understand evolutionary biological reasons for why men are into big boobs and women are into guys that treat them like shit, but the kissing thing is still a mystery.
I mean.... would you want to stick your mouth on this?
Monday, July 26, 2010
Enough Already
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Location, Location, Location.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Uncle Sam Wants You.. to Party (part 2)
As I wrote the title of that previous post, I had a weird feeling I had used that same phrase once before. Turns out, I did, for this post from July, 2008. Seemed appropriate to bring this cool dude out again for America's birthday:
"His favorite beer is Milkwaukee's Best. Check out his 12 pack stashed in the stairwell... I guess we all have a lot more in common with him than you thought, eh?"