Saturday, July 31, 2010

Am I a Fag Hag?

One of my best friends is a gay man, which puts me at risk for being one of the more replusive things you can be: a faghag.  I like to think our friendship is based on mutual respect and admiration, and not the parasititc relationship where he's some neutered sassy accessory who I talk about clothes and men with.  I'll admit that we've gone shopping together, but I don't do gross things like talk about my love life or undress in front of him - just because he is also interested in men sexually doesn't change the fact that he's a Man.  I mean hey - my dad is a man who has no interest in fucking me, but that doesn't mean I would ask him if these jeans make my butt look good.  Because obvious, duhs.

He's just a great guy and a person I like spending time. We've been friends for years and years and I care about him deeply.  He's incredibly smart and hilarious (see exhibits A-Z), but has a deep and complex emotional life that I don't presume to understand.

But as much as I think we've avoiding the stereotypical pitfalls of faghagdom, the fact still remains that he's a gay guy and I'm a girl, so is it possible to completely avoid this?  Do I unconsciously treat him in a way that makes our friendship one-sided?  I just want to do right by him, and be the kind of friend he deserves.

Is this even possible?  Am I doomed to be like the person who deeply believes they're not a racist, but instinctively clutches their purse when they walk past a black man at night? Are we bound to this faghaggary cycle no matter what?  Is it just hopeless?



Anonymous said...

Gay happens.

Hard Liquor, Soft Holes said...

all i heard was "blah blah blah SHOPPING blah blah blah FABULOUS!"

Anonymous said...

Party Pooper is fag hag?

This is my surprised face.

party pooper said...

stop being such a stereotype. ps god hates fags.

Anonymous said...

Seems like you're pretty good at keeping the fag hag situation in check.

Soo I'm looking for some feedback-

I think a lot of women fantasize about the Irene/Steven Real World Seattle situation, ie telling a closeted guy that he's obviously gay and getting a bitchy response. Any opinions on this?

Jennifer said...

They make Elton John look straight.

Josh said...

I'd stop referring to yourself as a "Fag Hag" and start calling yourself a "Fruit Fly". Unless you actually look like those two women in the pic - then the former is more applicable.