Am I a Fag Hag?

One of my best friends is a gay man, which puts me at risk for being one of the more replusive things you can be: a faghag.  I like to think our friendship is based on mutual respect and admiration, and not the parasititc relationship where he's some neutered sassy accessory who I talk about clothes and men with.  I'll admit that we've gone shopping together, but I don't do gross things like talk about my love life or undress in front of him - just because he is also interested in men sexually doesn't change the fact that he's a Man.  I mean hey - my dad is a man who has no interest in fucking me, but that doesn't mean I would ask him if these jeans make my butt look good.  Because obvious, duhs.

He's just a great guy and a person I like spending time. We've been friends for years and years and I care about him deeply.  He's incredibly smart and hilarious (see exhibits A-Z), but has a deep and complex emotional life that I don't presume to understand.

But as much as I think we've avoiding the stereotypical pitfalls of faghagdom, the fact still remains that he's a gay guy and I'm a girl, so is it possible to completely avoid this?  Do I unconsciously treat him in a way that makes our friendship one-sided?  I just want to do right by him, and be the kind of friend he deserves.

Is this even possible?  Am I doomed to be like the person who deeply believes they're not a racist, but instinctively clutches their purse when they walk past a black man at night? Are we bound to this faghaggary cycle no matter what?  Is it just hopeless?