If you're a busy sophisticated person like me, your schedule is so jam packed with lunches and cultural events that you don't have time to be dillydallying on the internet all day like some basement-dwelling mouth breather who spends Friday nights reading 4chan and flame waring on teenager's youtube accounts.
Oh wait, except the exact opposite for me.
But if you WERE the kind of person who is too busy to check Sorry I Missed Your Party everyday (which you are probably not, since you are reading this on New Year's Eve when you should be out partying IRL), I've made things easy for you. Here is the best of the past year, all in one convenient post so you can jet off in time for your black tie event at the endangered animals' museum society gala ball.
Smell ya l8r, 2009:
Happy 2010, internet. Love, your bff.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Best the Best of Sorry I Missed Your Party 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
The Doctor Will See You Now
Monday, December 21, 2009
Peeing in the Pool
Sometime this past summer, a study came out that 1 out of 5 people admit to peeing in the pool. I say that means 4 out of 5 people are fucking liars.
Point is, I see at least 5 people in this pool, and I have a good guess on who it is that's going to activate the purple dye.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Thank God It's Dilf Friday
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Body Shotz
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Crotch Grind Sesh
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Live Fast, Die Pretty
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
High School Reunion
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Bad Santas
For a few weeks out of the year, Santa gets to be the cats of the internet (meaning everything funny about the internet). Check out Off Duty Santa or Santa, No! for evidence. To jump on the bandwagon, I wrote about Holland's coolest Christmas tradition for the Faster Times.
I'll give you a hint, it looks like this:
Here Is Why You Fucked All Three of These Guys
You're still confused? I'll break it down for you. The dark haired guy because he was cute and sensitive, the middle guy because he was so persistent, and the guy with the glasses because you couldn't figure out why he wasn't interested in you, and you had already gone through the first two by the end of the semester.