Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Conversation I Had Stoned with Magnus

I was just searching for "boob cake" when I came across this mouthwatering delight. I showed my friend Magnus the photo because I was so impressed with this cake:

And he said, "sweet! The best of both worlds."
"You mean boobs and cake?"
"No, I meant boobs and war. I don't like cake."

Do I only think this is hilarious because I'm stoned? Or do I just find this so delicious because I'm so stoned?

Monday, March 30, 2009

Party History

Isn't it weird how your grandpa hated Japs because he fought on Iwo Jima, but you know them as the most lovable goofs in the world? History is weird and confusing.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Terrible Idea

Who left Unsafe Uncle in charge??????

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Men Are From Venus, Women Are From Marzzzzzz

Look, everyone knows guys are idiots and have no abilities to read other people. Sometimes you really have to just fucking spoonfeed them information like the babies they are. It's nice to see a girl read the score and stop pussyfooting around and just spell it out for them. That's why I have a tattoo on my lower back that reads "yeah, I'm down for whatever." Right below a portrait tattoo of my dead father that says "I told you so".

Friday, March 27, 2009

HOLY SHIT

In general, I avoid making comments directly about a people's bodies in photos..... but holy cow those are some GAZZONGAS.

What must it be like to reconcile your life when those things show up on your chest around 8th grade? Your entire existence is no longer anything you ever thought you knew. It's probably like in Soul Man where C. Thomas Howell becomes black and is surprised that people act differently to you based on your skin color.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

New Attitude

God, threeways are looking so much cooler these days.

Hair Sniffer

I always thought that it was only in movies when guys would secretly deeply sniff a girl's hair. The only time I remember anyone sniffing my hair was when I was a kid and my mom would sniff my hair and then yell at me to go take a shower.


Thanks to Coorain for the pic.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

This Sign Lies

On Monday, my friend came over to watch an unnamed CW show, and she mentioned she was nervous because as a grad student, she had to fill in for an absent professor the next day and prepare and deliver a lecture on semiotics. I was of pretty much no help, since my only advice was to play that Tesla cover of "Signs" a few times and call it a day.

If only the anonymous person who sent me this photo had sent it a day earlier - I could have given my friend a clear example of a clearly misleading sign to use as a teaching tool to her young wards.



Fuck You, Weird Al

You know what if one day black people got into hockey, Wayne Gretsky would be like some fucking joke, right?

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Super PsYcHeD!!!

Have you ever see someone so psyched about the possibility of a threeway with the voice major and the assistant stage manager?

Monday, March 23, 2009

Lord of the Rings Party

Found a set of pictures from the 70s of this couple's Lord of the Rings themed party, with all the photos tagged "Hobbit party". It's comforting to know the more things change, the more nerds stay the same.




The invitation:

Sunday, March 22, 2009

I'm Looking at the Man in the Mirror

And I'm telling him to chug this brew.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Torture

People made a big fuss about waterboarding and Guantanamo Bay, but have they forgotten the horrors of the a boredom teenagers face on our own soil? I'd like to see Christopher Hitchens try the suburbs on a Friday night where it's the same 5 people you hang with every weekend, and the one person you have a crush on that you hoped was going to show up doesn't end up coming.

Friday, March 20, 2009

This is the Only WayYou Can Get Me to Take a Shower.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

How to Be Debonair

True or false: no matter who or what you are, there's something about smoking a pipe that says "I've fucked tons of chicks."

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Luxuriating

I've never understood why people like taking baths so much. It's nice in theory, but after I'm in the water for a minute or two, I just get bored and think "jeez, I wish someone would hand me a joint right now..."

Strange Boobs

It seems like I've been posting a lot of pictures of scary boobs lately. This photo I guess kind of echoes my feelings, because it appears to actually be trying to run away from the woman it's attached to.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Grandma Colt 45

Happy St. Patrick's Day!




Unamused Pistons fan in background is unamused.



If the stone fox in this photo looks familiar, it's because the little minx was also tempting my eyes in a previous What to Wear to a Party post.

I can't resist her charms! One more:

Monday, March 16, 2009

Beer Cozy Photographer

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Slow Dance Boner Anxiety

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Peace!!

When I see a really skinny guy finding love with a fat chick, I'm super psyched, because that's what peace and harmony looks like. I'm glad this guy in the background sees it like I do.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Thank Goodness It's LAN Party Friday!

Isn't it weird that the kind of people who dress like they're really into a 90s concept of hackerdom probably the most boring ilife? I mean, what are these guys up to, updating their Friendster pages? Buying an album on iTunes and actually burning it onto a CD? Posting yelp.com reviews?


Thanks for the pic, Dave.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

I Can't Tell What's More Mouth-Watering in this Photo...

Tits, Sparks, or GTFO?

Seasons

Fuck this. I'm so sick of winter.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Oldest Photo Discovered!!

Oh my god, this is so exciting. I've been trolling Flickr so much, and I've definitely seen some cool old photographs, like from as early as the 1800s, which is pretty sweet. But now I've finally found the photo I believe is officially the oldest photograph on Flickr ever found:

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Balloons! Balloons! Balloons!

I love festive decorations. And I love clip art. Which is why I love clip art of balloons, as you might tell from the highly artistic banner for this blog, which features balloons taken from the first page of Google image searching for "balloons".

So my festive clip art lust was satiated when Renzo from the excellent Sexy People blog emailed me to point out a strange similarity in some photos he had posted on his site and the balloons on the Sorry I Missed Your Party banner. I'm guessing it's because the attended middle school on the internet. Junior High of Phoenix?



Monday, March 9, 2009

Gone Fishin'

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Preschool Teacher Beer Pong

Saturday, March 7, 2009

My Inner Pain

Ever feel like the kid who wears a shirt at the pool?


Thanks to Dave for sending me this reminded of my own self loathing.

TGIF!

You know when you're a kid and you fall asleep on the car ride home and your dad carries you into the house and you kind of pretend to still be asleep because you like getting carried?

Going out on Friday night sucks because you woke up at regular early workday time, so you start getting sleepy at 11 and can't imagine leaving the house. But imagine if you knew you could just fall asleep and get instantly carried home? Problem solved!


Thanks to Matt for the pic.

Friday, March 6, 2009

(Guy in Orange Shirt)

I was excited when I first saw this picture, because who doesn't love a foam party at the youth center in a church basement. But when I noticed the guy in the orange shirt, my weekend was made.

Thanks for the pic, Charles.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Ladies, Take Your Pick: Pt. 2

This one is a total no brainer. The red cup guy is too drunk and has a smelly futon without a top sheet. The chubby longhair has weed and low self-esteem and therefore will worship you like a princess.



If you chose the beer gutted guy in the background, you get 100 bonus points only redeemable at Planned Parenthood.

Slumber Party

Isn't this a nice, innocent, sweet 60s slumber party? Probably uploaded from someone's old family photos, right? I dare you to click on the photo and see the next photo in this person's photostream.


If you keep searching through the photostream, you'll find plenty of nice 60s and 70s photos juxtaposed to n00dz; unclear if they're the same subjects.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Tea Party Pooper

Look at this stuck up jerk thinking her shit don't stink and giving the rolled eyes to a bunch of perfectly normal adults dressed as dolls having a nice tea party with their dolls. Whatever, lady. Why you have to bring so much negativity to this world?

Scared of Clowns?

You are now.


Thanks for the photo, Nick.
P.S. I know it's you under that makeup.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

My Favorite Things

There are two themes of photos that are my absolute favorite, and I get super excited whenever I come across them in recently uploaded pictures. Today was a very lucky day because I found both:

The first is pictures where a white guy (bonus hilarity if his friends/family are included) is dressed up in some kind of ethnic garb for a wedding to a non-white woman.


The second is people in limos. Never fails to crack me up.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Cig Stash

Boobs are dumb and gay and cleavage is even gayer. The only thing they're good for is holding your pack of smokes, like the girl on the right is doing.

It's Delicious!