Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Vienetta Cake Reckoning

Fair enough, these delightful packaged Vienetta ice cream cakes are delicious. But if you get one as your birthday cake, that's a pretty clear sign that Nobody In This World Loves You.



Of course, one slice is never enough...

15 comments:

Hootie McBoob said...

I had one at my birthday, I asked for it...everyone at the table loved it! and I felt truly loved x x x

kookyknut said...

Normally the commentary on here is spot-on, however, I have to agree with Hootie McBoob. A girlfriend of mine got one of these on her birthday and she was over the moon.

TeeVeeEll said...

I had one for dinner. So there.

party pooper said...

i fully admit these are delicious. however, they're a staple of latchkey kid dinners. a store bought frozen ice cream cake for a birthday is so sad my emo kid sister just cut herself when she telepathically knew i was thinking about it.

Anonymous said...

holy shit that looks so delicious but i have never even heard of it.
is this an east coast thing?

Anonymous said...

must be east coast..ive never heard of em in the northern midwest.

Anonymous said...

I live on the west coast and never heard of them either, so they must be a east coast thing.

Anonymous said...

We've got 'em here in the strait up midwest.(missouri) And i remeber my mom buying them, hiding them behind shit in the freezer, and never letting us kids have any.

Colin said...

I would die and go to heaven if I could find a grocery store in brooklyn that still sold these. Such a ridiculous 90s food item, i loved these as a kid.

Anonymous said...

When I was a kid these were considered a delicacy. If we had one in the freezer, it was for the "adults" in the household. Ice cream cake that the kids can't have...that's fucked. It probably has something to do with being from Ohio.

Anonymous said...

What the hell? I thought Vienetta was discontinued... is that an old photo or are they really still available? And where?

I would love to get a Vienetta cake for my birthday,or any other occasion for that matter.

Evil said...

As per chowhound.com, someone there went to the Breyers site & found that they no longer are produced. Pity, that.

Cris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cris said...

About three, four years ago, the crew was in Ireland boozing it up at the local gay bar ("Bubblicious", I think they called it) because it was close to the hotel, drinks were cheap, and the girls were surprising game... as long as no one brought up politics.

Anywho, I was trying to take it easy and decided to head outside for some fresh air, but then realized I was out of smokes. As no one else had any (to spare) either, I decided to drag one of the lackeys the 11 blocks down to the grocery to pick some up before it closed. Well, once I got there, I was still buzzed and the lackey was going on about irish butter (or "butter", as they call it in Ireland) and that probiotic yoghurt that wasn't as prevalent here like it is now.

I wandered the aisles for a bit, undone by the exertion it took to walk all the way there, but feeling strangely high from it as well. I was hungry and found myself in the frozen food coolers, not sure why I was there since I didn't know where the microwaves were in the new hotel, anyway.

That point became moot, however, as my eyes struck upon the packaging for the Vienetta ice cream cake. I remembered the commercials, too, but I had never had one. My mum never let me indulge in such things and as I got older, I guess I never thought about it again.

But I was thinking about it in that grocery in Ireland. And it was only €3.60! My mouth watered, even as my empty stomach grumbled that this was a poor substitute for actual food in my inebriated state.

I grabbed the cake and the lackey (who was standing slack-jawed in the crisps aisle trying to make a decision), and started the trek back to the pub. It seemed shorter somehow, with the freezing cake under my arm and a purpose in my step.

I stole into the local chicken hut along the way, not for food, but to pick up a few napkins and utensils to share.

As I approached the bar, I noticed quite a few of the mates outside smoking. For some reason, I felt irritated and betrayed that I'd had to walk so far for smokes, when clearly they'd all had some, so I pushed inside, sat down at the bar, and began to eat. Even after I was full, I stood up, threw away all but the fork I was eating with, rubbed my belly and kept eating, gorging myself on luscious vanilla ice cream, crisp milk chocolate, and the gooey delicious envy of my peers.

I was nearly done before I remembered I was lactose intolerant, and the cigarettes I smoked on the can that night were the last I'll probably ever smoke in this life, but it was totally, totally worth it.

Ah, memories...

darlin_virg said...

Holy shit that was a great story, literally.

I remember seeing those Vienetta ice cream commercials as a kid, but was so piss poor to never afford to try it, not even at a friend's house. Hmm... I'll just tell myself it probably tastes better in my imagination than in real life.