You run a country funded by the opium trade, and guess what? You're going to end up with a lot of people in church basements taking it one day at a time.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
This is a little too not-actually-in-Miami-milf-fabulous for me, but this is one of those pictures you can't just from looks alone. You have to put yourself in her shoes; not just visualize it. Imagine the smells and tastes and feelings, and all of a sudden that giant frosty goblet and giant waistless spandex dress are feeling just about right. Then you understand why she has the expression of someone who's just taken the best dump of their lives and it only required one wipe.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
I have the attention of a 4 year old whose parents don't subscribe to the "time out" school of discipline, so when I say something has Come To My Attention, that means it's pretty shocking. What has recently come to my attention is that there are still people who have never seen what are are undoubtedly the Most Famous Party Pictures on the internet. The provenance of all of these is completely obscured, the best information I can give is that the puking picture has been around since at least 2004, and that I suspect the guitar family picture is either staged or photoshopped.
If you have never seen these, feel ashamed and please report to Remedial /b/ 101.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Have you ever seen a group of people so obviously about to die a gruesome death by maniac killer/bear/vampires? And I hope they do, these jerks, with their Coors Light and fun and sunshine and Tevas and good times. They're just looking their own death in the eye and saying "go ahead, take me. I'm ready." Jerks.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Sometimes I like to take a moment to talk about what a good person I am and some of the selfless good deeds I do. One time I was walking home drunk and alone around 5am after eating alone in a diner (are you bummed out yet?) and I saw a guy passed out on the sidewalk. He looked obviously not homeless, and I was feeling cheerful, so I nudged him with my foot a little and said "hey buddy, wake up." He didn't move, so I shook him harder and finally got him to wake up and stand. He was very gay in that he was homosexual and also oddly jovial for a guy in his situation. It turned out that he was only half a block away from his apartment. I guess he just couldn't make it that final stretch home and decided to take a breather in the middle of the sidewalk. I walked him to his apartment, and helped him inside. I helped him into bed and fed his dog.
Ok, now I'll admit that is definitely not the right thing to do if you see someone passed out, unless you like a 50% chance of getting murdered. But at least it's better than doing this:
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Have you ever had someone try to convince you to go see a band (or more often their band) by claiming that the show will be "a party"? That's one of the worst lies that are perpetrated on a hapless music fan.
Except for this band:
P.S. Really into this guy's photostream. He's one of those middle aged guys on Flickr who has scanned and uploaded their entire life in pictures. His username is "Doctor Free" and he lived in a teepee and a freaky commune called the Love Family.
With his mom outside the teepee he lived in:
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Can't wait for summer? Throw yourself a beach party in your apartment like Lisa and her friends in these pictures did.
This is also a pretty good idea if you've got some "f you" money floating around and you don't need the security deposit on your apartment back.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
"Guys guys guys guys - the room is spinning like crazy, but don't worry, I'm going work on holding up this wall."
"Ok, new strategy: I'm going to just keep working on making sure this floor stops moving."
"Hey, no need to thank me there, sir. Just doing what anyone would have done."
Friday, April 10, 2009
I always felt disenfranchised and alienated as a tween because I couldn't make the intricate wide friendship bracelets with multiple threads and patterns. Somewhat recently, I had two friends teach me the fancy 5 thread technique, and the three us of each made a bracelet to trade with the other person. Mine was totally pathetic and deformed. Now, if you Google search my name, one of the 3 hits that comes up is one of those friend's Friendster profile which lists making fun of friendship bracelets made by me as one of her interests. Don't worry, the joke's on her because it means people know she still has a Friendster account.
Point is, this photo reminds me that summer is coming, so I better step up my friendship bracelet game if I want to make any new friends at camp this year.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Yesterday was a pretty big day for me, since I did something I haven't done in a long long time: I puked the morning after drinking. Puking the next morning is so much worse than puking when you're still drunk, because when you're drunk, there's a lot of stuff you don't mind doing that you would find abhorrent if you were sober. I'm not naming names, but thanks for the memories (crabs). Barfing is a pretty bad way to start your day, and for me it only got worse when I realized I had left my credit card at a male strip club the night before. Proud of me now, mom?