If you're a busy sophisticated person like me, your schedule is so jam packed with lunches and cultural events that you don't have time to be dillydallying on the internet all day like some basement-dwelling mouth breather who spends Friday nights reading 4chan and flame waring on teenager's youtube accounts.
Oh wait, except the exact opposite for me.
But if you WERE the kind of person who is too busy to check Sorry I Missed Your Party everyday (which you are probably not, since you are reading this on New Year's Eve when you should be out partying IRL), I've made things easy for you. Here is the best of the past year, all in one convenient post so you can jet off in time for your black tie event at the endangered animals' museum society gala ball.
Smell ya l8r, 2009:
Happy 2010, internet. Love, your bff.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Best the Best of Sorry I Missed Your Party 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
The Doctor Will See You Now
Monday, December 21, 2009
Peeing in the Pool
Sometime this past summer, a study came out that 1 out of 5 people admit to peeing in the pool. I say that means 4 out of 5 people are fucking liars.
Point is, I see at least 5 people in this pool, and I have a good guess on who it is that's going to activate the purple dye.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Thank God It's Dilf Friday
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Body Shotz
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Crotch Grind Sesh
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Live Fast, Die Pretty
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
High School Reunion
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Bad Santas
For a few weeks out of the year, Santa gets to be the cats of the internet (meaning everything funny about the internet). Check out Off Duty Santa or Santa, No! for evidence. To jump on the bandwagon, I wrote about Holland's coolest Christmas tradition for the Faster Times.
I'll give you a hint, it looks like this:
Here Is Why You Fucked All Three of These Guys
You're still confused? I'll break it down for you. The dark haired guy because he was cute and sensitive, the middle guy because he was so persistent, and the guy with the glasses because you couldn't figure out why he wasn't interested in you, and you had already gone through the first two by the end of the semester.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Regrets
I was looking through some of my old pictures lately, and I saw one where I was doing the devil horns hand signal. I wanted to build a time machine, go back in time to the past me just before the picture was taken, grab a rope and a butcher's cleaver, tie my arm down and chop off my index and pinky fingers so that I could never, ever make that photo happen.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus: Puking Edition
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Prince Beer Gut
Doesth thou not know that in medieval tymes that a portly stature was a sign that a gentleman was of great wealth and importance? You ingrate knaves, only a lowly commoner wouldst posses defined abdominals from the work of tilling the fields of my fiefdom.
Thanks to Philip for this photo.
Friday, November 20, 2009
TGIF Chug Dares
This video of a kid chugging a 1/5 of vodka on a bet is kind of horrific, but also kind of slow. It's over 4 mintues, so let me spoil it for you: he finishes it. Let your mind be boggled:
Thursday, November 19, 2009
You're So Vain (and Mostly Drunk)
I don't know what to think about this girl. On one hand, she's a total square cheeseball, but on the other hand, I just can't deny that she looks like a lot of fun. I think the final verdict is coming down to the fact that of her Flickr photostream, she appears in about 95% of her own photos, which is kind of borderline personality disorder-ish.
Whenever I see people who appear in almost all of their own photos, I always wonder how they manage this. Are they just always asking someone else to use their camera for them? I feel like the etiquette when you want a photo of yourself is to gamely take a few pictures of others first so you don't appear too vain. Or maybe they take lots of pictures, but then only bother to upload the ones of themselves?