When someone sent me this photo of their friends, I first thought it was just a boring picture of some bad drunken dancing. Then I saw the wisenheimer mooning them.
If you enjoy surreptitious moonings, and you haven't already seen this page on Photobombing, please make sure to. I literally tear up everytime I see it. It doesn't get old.
Thanks to Alexis for this photo. She will paint your dog.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Over the Moon
Bachelorette Party
Saturday, June 28, 2008
I Have A Dream
See, I don't see race or gender when I look at a person. I just see a person. So to me, when I first saw this photo, I was confused because I thought I was seeing triple of one person in this photo, like some crazy photoshopping effect. Turns out, I was seeing double because I'm stoned out of my mind, but that's neither here nor there.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Party Hats
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Guitar Hero
Sexual Tension
The sexual tension here is so thick you could cut it with a chainsaw. Get a room already, jeez!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Ice House Rules
You'd think at least this guy would be drinking Sam Adams, but no. Have you ever actually seen anyone ever drink a Sam Adams at a party? Me neither. It's total dad beer. Until you sire a child (knowingly), you can still drink shitty domestic beer. Once you have kids, you instantly crave Sam Adams and you can never drink Icehouse again.
I Hate Beer Pong, part 2
Another problem with beer pong is it requires you to concentrate really hard when you're drunk. There's only two things I can concentrate on when I'm drunk and they are:
A) how can I get laid
B) where's my other shoe
Look at the intensity in this guy's furrowed brow and steely glare. He looks like he's about to pull an epic daredevil Jenga block removal. The only time I concentrate that hard is when popping bacne.
Via
Monday, June 23, 2008
Spaghetti Vomit
Someone just emailed me this picture they took of their friend who had passed out drunk. After this picture was taken, he threw up a spaghetti dinner. Have you ever seen someone throw up spaghetti? It's one of the most disgusting things you can throw up, because the noodle strands get caught halfway in your throat and you have to huck them out. Plus, it retains its form, so it still looks exactly like a delicious bowl of spaghetti, but served up in your toilet.
As if this poor guy hasn't suffered enough.
Shamrock Shake
A SHAMROCK??? Your friend passes out on the floor and the best thing you can think of to draw on his face is a shamrock???? For shame! Have you never heard of penises and swastikas?
Via
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Swedish Midsommar Parties
This photo is from this weekend's Midsommar holiday in Sweden. I think Midsommar is kind of like the 4th of July where you drink all day and eat a lot of food outside.
It's got to be hard to be the chubby guy in Sweden, right? All your other blond, svelte friends look great shirtless, and you'll left staring at the empty bag of boxed wine, wishing you could crawl inside and hide your manboobs.
Via
Abductions
A semester abroad is all fun and games until you wake up in the trunk of a Fiat, gagged and bound. I've seen "Hostel"; I know what is about to happen.
Via
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Old Lady Body
Dancing in a bikini sounds like a good idea, but you have to remember that when you do certain dance moves, it crinkles up your body so you look like an old woman with a young face. Like the scary lady who comes out of the bathtub in "The Shining".
Via.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Party Trooper
A good party guest is that really low maintenance person who you never have to worry if she's having a good time. Some people spend a whole party texting on the cell phone to find out where the next party that's better and more fun is going to be, or asking you if there's any beer in the fridge that they can take.
The ideal laid-back party guest can strike up a conversation with anyone, brings her own case of Colt 45, and doesn't even mind if a hobo-lady happens to pass out in her lap. If only you could rent this girl out to have at your next function.
Beer Fairy
Stoner Decor
How is it that stoners have been listening exclusively to the same 5 bands since 1968? Have there been no major improvements in stoner music in the last 40 years? I'd bet my third nipple that the framed record hanging on the wall next to the pot leaf poster is Bob Marley, the Grateful Dead, Phish, or Dave Matthews.
Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it, right?
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Party Hints: Theme Decorations
Ralphing
It's a very common thing for serious athletes to vomit after a hard training session. At a competitive level, this is nothing uncommon for swimmers or marathon runners. For this guy, there's no shame in ralphing after finishing that 5k bike race to benefit feline HIV.
Especially if you're like most top-level athletes and you eschew Gatorade or plain water for the real athlete's secret - Mad Dog 20/20. Lance Armstrong drinks it like mother's milk, I'm sure.
I just don't understand where the bedpan came from.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Bud Lite
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Oh Hi there!
Oh hey, what's up? Grab a seat - we're just cooling in the chillout tent here. Tommy's sucking on a sick resturant grade whipped cream cannister. I don't even know if he's eating the cream or just doing the whippet - I think we ran out of cream a few hours ago when we were body painting. Either way, right?
Help yourself to some homemade komboucha - the backrub chain is starting soon.
Unappreciated
Monday, June 16, 2008
Decisions, Decisions!
Hi Guys!!!!!!!!!
Hi!!!!! Are you having fun? This party is crazy! I have two cups! I don't even know where I got this second cup! It's crazy!
Hold on, I'm getting a call on my pink Razr phone.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
The Real McCoy
Today I stumbled upon the Flickr stream of the main guy in the 90s techno outfit The Real McCoy (hits include "Another Night" and "Run Away"). He has a few old tour pictures from sometime in the 90s in Asia, but what's really cool is he has this massive collection of scanned old hip hop party flyers from the 80s. I guess this isn't really a photo, but I thought it was pretty cool, especially since it came from a German techno has-been.
Rapunzel Beer Bong
Once upon a time, there lived 4 fair maidens, locked in a tower. And the gallant knights would come by and call up to them, "let down your beer bong!". The maidens would lowers a garden hose and pour in a Natty Light. And then the princes would pass out on the lawn. The end.
For added enjoyment, check out the user profile of the horny Army housewife who posted this pic. She's looking for 3-ways (no BBWs!) with her husband.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
You're So Vain
Don't you hate people who don't want to have their picture taken at a party, and try to hide their face? What are you, a celebrity? You think anyone else notices when you have a bad hair day?
I mean, how hard is it to just look at the camera and smile? You should be glad someone actually wants to take a picture of you and remember the moment.
Super lame.
Indy
Friday, June 13, 2008
Novelty Daquiris at the Renn Faire
Those giant daquiris they sell at amusement parks and the beach are such a rip. You think they're this amazing deal because they're only $3, but then you realize that there's no booze in them. So then you're stuck with a huge novelty glass of gross sweet slushy stuff, plus you feel like a total idiot for not knowing it was a virgin drink.
The only worse indignity is when you're at the Renn Faire and someone points out that they didn't actually have pina coladas at King Arthur's court. Or maybe she's drinking mead.
Remember Cuddle Parties?
This was the kind of thing that AM New York would love to write about. Lonely, disconnected urbanites in search of human touch getting together for a platonic cuddle party. Never really caught on, right? It was one of those hyped fads that never really existed. Like freestyle walking.
Dan Cortese, you fooled us big time. You and your bandanna.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Irish For a Day
Yes, I know it's not St. Patrick's Day, but this picture was too good to wait until next year. What an excellent example of the spirit of being "Irish for the day". I would like to show this to every idiot who doesn't think that you have to celebrate St. Patrick's Day if you're not actually Irish.
Sue, Lisa, and Grace here understand what it means to be part of a global community focused around novelty beer.
Party Hints: Boob Cake Age Limit
When planning a surprise party, a question many people have is, "when someone too old to get them a boob cake for his or her birthday?" It's safe to say the cutoff is about 25 years younger than this guy.
Possible exceptions to this rule include:
- if he's recently been release from prison
- after a nasty divorce
- if he's actually a manchild like Robin Williams in "Jack"
Let's hope it's one of those.
Party Hint: Wedding Guest Etiquette
Shirtless drunk arm-wrestling is usually fairly harmless. Unless you're like these guys, who are actually doing this at their friend's wedding reception (it's a little hard to tell from this single photo, but the it's from a whole set of wedding pictures). Which is pretty much a good guarantee that your buddy's new wife will never let him hang out with you guys again.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Home Brewed
I once watched an episode about home brewing on that show on the Food Network where the guy who looks like Thomas Dolby tells you all about how food is manufactured. The weird part about it was watching the guy drink the beer at the end and talk how much he loves beer. It was like when Martha Stewart drinks the cocktail recipes on her show. You know they're adults and probably enjoy a nice beer or cocktail, but something is so weird and unsettling about it.
It's freaky when nerds and old ladies are not just drinking, but talking about how great the booze is. It's like overhearing your coworkers poop in the office bathroom or something. You try to pretend that it's ok that we're all humans and we all poop, but really it's not.